Steak and Chips and Bloodlust
by glassweb
Summary: The Doctor and rose try desperately to sort out their feelings, but it's difficult when the Doctor can't trust himself enough to let go. Now finished but warning, adult final chapter! snerk
1. Chapter 1

"Steak and chips? I take you to the Restaurant At The End Of The Universe and you order _steak and chips?_"

Rose stuck out her tongue at him, and the Doctor raised his eyebrows.

"Have you even looked through the rest of the menu? No?" he sighed and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. Jack scanned down the visi-screen, and stopped at the 21st century options.

"Risotto? Translation please, Rose? "

"Rice kinda thing. Had peas in when my mum made it."

"Right."

Rose flicked a sidelong look towards the Doctor, who was scrutinising his interactive menu with a frown. She slipped her foot out of her shoe and debated on whether or not to tease him. Might be a perfect opportunity when he couldn't run off or make an excuse for once.  
He suddenly looked straight up at her, blue eyes sparkling as if he knew exactly what she was planning. She glared and he unconcernedly returned to the menu.

"Nothing wrong with steak and chips…" he ignored her, and she glanced at the waiter resignedly. All of the staff seemed nervous around them, respectful, despite the fact that they'd parked the Tardis in the middle of the kitchens.

"What is this place, Doctor?"

Jack laughed.

"You should know Rose. It was designed in your time."

"What the hell?" She looked round at the light display. Milliways was a restaurant with a background that looked like space was on fire, suns expanding, comets melting, all in perfect time with the lilting music.

The Doctor chimed in. "Lovely bloke called Douglas Adams, ever read Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy?"

"No. Should I have?"

"Definitely. It hilarious, it's been a universal joke for centuries. Half the aliens visiting earth at that time just stopped by to pick up an authentic copy," Jack gestured around him, "Gave a lot of people hope. The universe isn't quite as insane as Douglas makes it out to be. This place was built about ten years after it got published."

"Who by?"

"Nobody knows. Someone with an endearing love of humans no doubt. "

The Doctor grinned, smugly, and Jack looked at him in awe.

"No way…"

He clicked his fingers and a green waiter came running.

"May I take your order Sir?"

"Yeah we'll have….', he glanced at Rose and Jack "…two bottles of red house wine, and one of sweet white, a Risotto aaaand….. "

He turned to beam at Rose.

"Two steak and chips."

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

He was sitting at the table, nursing a beer, and watching Rose and Jack dance.

The Doctor was brooding, Rose decided. He was good at glowering. Excellent at grinning. But not so good at brooding.

It just wasn't in his nature to dwell on things for too long. Except the war, of course, but he didn't really have a choice in that. She snuggled into Jack happily, as Glen Miller rang out across the dance floor.

"He's so jealous," Jack whispered seductively in her ear.

"I know, " she giggled delightedly, "Never seen him like that before. Not so badly."

"Got a few in him I think."

They danced for a few minutes in silence, both enjoying being the centre of the Doctor's attention, moving in slow circles so they had equal opportunities to check on him. Jack watched as he traced something on the table with a wet finger, still staring over at them.

"Is he still holding back, by the way?" he asked, twirling her out and then drawing her back in again. Jack had caught Rose three months previously in a rather comprising position in the shower, and although she'd been embarrassed, he'd been more interested in the reasons behind it. Since then Jack had been checking up on them every couple of weeks, just itching to step in and say something to the Doctor, but respecting Rose's vigilance.  
She sighed, loudly, and Jack chuckled.

"It's driving me insane! He's being such a …."

"Prude?"

"Not the word I was gonna use, but it'll do I suppose." They slowed back, stepping in time together. Jack shot a smile over his shoulder and the Doctor jumped, and waved, a little sarcastically.

"Just keep at it, Rose. He'll have to talk eventually. Any new ideas why he's so chaste?"

She frowned. "Dunno. He still thinks he's taking advantage, so it's always me making moves on him. And from what he's said it must have been a couple of centuries since he last did this kind of thing."

"What? Two hundred years without sex? Has he seen himself?" Jack shook his head in horrified awe, and Rose giggled. He spun her again. "You're gonna unleash a monster one of these days."

She looked thoughtfully up at him. "I don't know. He's kind of….respectful-" Jack raised his eyes to the heavens. Literally. "…but he can kiss. God, the man can kiss."

"Just ask him where you are. He can't just go on ignoring that he's making out with you."

Rose shook her head regretfully. "Sorry Jack. Gotta go."

"But it's not the end of the dance yet!"

She broke away and patted him on the shoulder. "I know. It's just he's been pushing those salt and pepper pots around the table for the last five minutes. Duty calls. "

She drifted off to her Doctor again, who kissed her on the cheek and sent a smug smirk in Jack's direction.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Jack crept into the control room, and plastered himself against the wall, hoping against hope that he wouldn't be noticed. His friends looked quite busy to him.  
A huge grin lit up his face, as he watched the Doctor press Rose gently into the door and hold her there firmly with leather-clad arms.  
Just as he was wishing he had his cloaking device from his ship on board, he stumbled and fell softly backwards into a cupboard behind the panelling. He pulled the door to, too thankful to be surprised.

He patted the wall, imitating a high-five. "Thanks."

Then he re-tuned into the show. Observing purely to help Rose later, of course.

He had quite a good sideways view through one of the hexagonal vents, and he watched as Rose bucked into the Doctor.  
Although she moaned, it was obvious to him that she was frustrated. The Doctor was resisting all her efforts to speed up the kiss, and keeping her almost stationary against the wall, as Jack watched appreciatively. Lucky girl. He knew kissing, and he could see the Doctor was very good at it.

Like a lot of things about the Doctor, his kiss was intense, powerful and beautiful, but conversely and completely unlike him, there was no passion there. He had himself carefully reeled in, and Rose looked to be going insane, aching for him to just let go.  
She tried to guide his hands down to her backside, but he lifted them off, setting them on the wall either side of her shoulders. She huffed, but soon got caught in the kiss again, grabbing for his hips, but he caught her hands and held them together. The tension was palpable, and Rose was getting severely pissed off-

"Alright then, stop!" She broke free and stumbled over to the control panel, panting.

"What?" The Doctor's forehead was wrinkled in confusion, shock, and what was that? Guilt?

"What? What? You keep bloody pushing me away is what! Am I so repulsive that you can't bear to-"

He made a disbelieving noise, but Rose's eyes flashed dangerously and he fell silent, arms outstretched as if to fend off blows. She put her hands on her hips and stood glaring at him, hair down, and tumbling over a low cut top. Definitely one of Rose's moves on him then.

"I just can't do this anymore," she said throwing her arms up in the air. The Doctor's mouth set hard in horror. "It's been months."

He crossed his arms and tried to glare, but Jack winced as he saw the vulnerability.

"Getting bored, are we?"

Rose must have seen it too, because in an instant she strode over and took his hand, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"No, I'm definitely not getting bored, you daft sod. Its just that you pull away, every time I try to take it further, every time I want just a little bit more-"

"Oh."

Jack could've sworn the Doctor was blushing.

"It's complicated," he muttered.

"I'm sure."

He blew out a long breath, and hesitantly kissed her on the top of her head.

"I haven't done this for about ten times your existence," he said, squeezing her hand in his.

"And?"

"And I'm a time lord!"

"And I'm just an ape?"

She untwined her fingers grumpily and pulled away, but he gathered her back into his arms.

"Don't be stupid. It's just…I'm not used to being…it's odd. "

"You're such a bloke!"

She pulled away harder this time and he stood watching her miserably, arms crossed. To the casual observer he would have looked serene, focused, without a trace of emotion, but Rose's eyes misted in pain.

"What if i….you know..fail to meet expectations?"

She didn't laugh as Jack had expected her to, but reached for his hand.

"Not much you could do wrong. And don't tell me it's just that. You know how good you are at…touching me," she said colouring a little, "There's more to it. I know you."

"Do you?" He dropped her hand and stared at her. Jack gulped. He really wouldn't have liked to be on the wrong side of those eyes, and was desperately hoping that he wouldn't be discovered.  
Rose seemed unperturbed, and held his gaze steadily.

"Yes."

There was a pause.

"Not all of me."

Rose nodded, and bit her lip.

"Who says you know all of me? And besides, isn't that what this is about? Us getting to know each other, trusting each other?"

He didn't answer, but a muscle was working in his cheek.

"Isn't it?"

He didn't answer and aggravated, her tone slowly rose.

"What, you're afraid that once I see past that cheeky Northern exterior, I'm gonna just up and leave? That it's too dark for me? Because I've seen your logic, I've seen your morality, I've seen you go for the people rather than the person and just because I don't always agree-"

The Doctor glared at her, visibly angry. Rose threw caution the winds and changed tact, shouting.

"You know what, it's probably not even that, is it? You don't trust me enough not to just run off with Jack or Mickey- "

"That's enough!"

The Doctor slammed his hands down onto the control panel. Rose stopped, shocked, but almost instantly he dropped his face in shame.

"I'm sorry. There's your answer, Rose. You make me lose control. I make…stupid decisions, and I…"

She blinked, and stumbled, and Jack caught his breath, suddenly very uncomfortable with watching this conversation. The Doctor was revealing something intimate, something causing him pain, and he could've sworn he felt the Tardis walls tighten and relax, like a ripple was expanding through the ship.

"I muck up, Rose."

The Doctor eased himself into the leather chair next to the console, and put his head in his hands.

"I'm not like this. I don't get het up over people. I shouldn't spend half my day thinking up cheap digs at Jack, and if it's like this now, how bloody demanding am I going to get if we start…"

"Sleeping together?" Rose didn't look happy, but the Doctor raised his head and nodded. Hungrily. Jack gulped again.

"You think you'll get too possessive?"

"I know I will." It was weird seeing the Doctor embarrassed. He'd argue a point to death to keep his dignity. Jack, far from being pleased that the Doctor was threatened by him, in honesty felt guilty that he was driving them apart.  
His breath constricted as he saw Rose's eyes had filled with tears.

"You know what I think?" She crossed her arms and refused to meet the Doctor's eye.

There was a pause, and then he asked slowly, awfully.

"What?"

"I think…" She ran a hand through her hair, and swallowed.

"I think you don't know what you want. And I think that until you work that out…we should just leave it."

The silence spiralled between them. It was almost palpable.

Eventually he answered.

"So…what are we for the moment?"

She sniffed.

"Companions?"

He gave a half-hearted attempt at a smile, and Rose angrily brushed her hand over her eyes.

"Looks like."

"Right."

Another pause.

"Night then, Doctor."

She turned, half running out of the room, and the Doctor stood and waited until her footfalls faded.

"Night Rose."

He too turned and walked out.

Jack tumbled out of the cupboard, and on to the floor, hardly daring to breathe. When he pulled himself upright, he checked the console, and touched it softly.

"How the hell are they going to patch this one up, then?"

But the Tardis didn't answer.


	2. Chapter 2

Rose woke up, but kept her eyes closed and her head under her duvet, despite the humidity and severe lack of oxygen. She toyed with the idea of staying still under she passed out, but gave in after her alarm clock went off, pushing the covers aside and gasping for air. It was seven thirty a.m of day fourteen.

It had been two weeks, and Rose was regretting every second of The Conversation.

He hadn't touched her since. At all. Not just hugging and kissing; all the other little endearing affections like sneaking into her room occasionally to find her dirty washing, stroking her hair during movies, and giving her his coat when he thought, despite assurances otherwise, that she was too cold, were gone.

Admittedly they'd only been in one life-threatening situation since, but he hadn't even grabbed her hand whilst running. She'd shut her eyes and run faster than she ever had before.

He was reluctant to speak to her on her own, and he was spending more time in his room that he did 'fixing' the Tardis.

What scared her most was the change in his expressions; he was brooding again. She tried to put it into words, the lost, empty expression that she caught him staring into space with. 'Brooding' seemed an unworthy tag for an emotion born of so much experience, but it was the closest she could find. She'd always managed to talk him out of his grief before.  
Now she didn't dare ask him to pass the salt, and as Jack put it, it was killing her.

According to Jack, it was killing the Doctor too, but she couldn't even get near him to find out. Rose took it to mean that he hadn't figured out what he wanted yet. She couldn't bear to think of an alternative solution.

She shut her eyes and rolled out of bed onto the floor, pulled herself up, and headed for the shower.

"It's really what I want. I should've done it years back, it's just with one thing and another, you kind of forget what your priorities should be…" Jack's voice floated out of the dining garden. Breakfast in there then.

"Ok. Well it's your blood." She pushed open the gate, to see them sprawled in deck chairs, eating breakfast off a glass table underneath a blossomed tree. The Doctor hurriedly got up, almost falling over his feet as he stood and grabbed his plate, walking out. She winced, and then regretted it as he noticed, and turned.

"Morning, Rose."

The formality stung.

"Morning, Doctor."

He focused his gaze, and for a split second, she was sure it softened into something beautifully familiar, and her heart rose in her throat. But then the moment was gone, as he looked at his feet, embarrassed, and then at Jack, impatient.

"Ready when you are, then."

"Sure."

He strode out of the garden, and Rose flopped down underneath the tree. Jack handed her a steaming cup, and she took a sip. It was hot chocolate, and she ran her tongue round her mouth. He'd added kahlua.

"It's eight in the morning!"

Jack smiled briefly." Looked like you needed it. Him as well."

"Don't start."

He pushed a bowl of frosties towards her, and she took it gratefully.

"Thanks."

"You should eat more," he said, spreading his toast with obscene amounts of peanut butter, "You didn't eat dinner last night."

"What's all this about blood?" she asked, hoping to waylay him before she got started on her eating habits. He ignored her, adding strawberry jam to his doorstep-sized slice.

"He didn't either. Lonely meal."

"Jack!" she complained, through a mouthful of frosties, "You're worrying me! Where are we going, and what has it got to do with your blood?"

"You worry me.." he took a big bite, and then rolled his eyes at her expression, "Ok, ok….we're going to Nicole."

She raised an eyebrow and took another gulp of chocolate.

"Ex-lover of yours? Honestly Jack…you have half the universe out for your blood…no, sorry, it was you balls last time, wasn't it?"

He gave her a brief smile.

"No…it's a planet. Not a very nice planet actually."

"So why are we going there?"

"I want to give the Doctors there some of my blood."

Rose's eyes widened, and she choked, coughing. Jack handed her a paper towel.

"Are you insane?"

He put his hands behind his head, and cockily leant back, eyes shining."Yeah?"

"We don't find enough trouble on our own without you offering- "

"I've got a good reason. It's an AID's planet. If you're HIV positive you get sent to Nicole. Named after the first woman there.'

Rose set down her spoon in her half empty bowl, interested. Jack grinned. He loved the way that she was so fascinated by _everything_. His face fell a little as he realised he had to knock away a little more of her innocence. He wondered wistfully how long it would take her to stop being surprised at all.

"We never found a cure for it. It nearly wiped out half the undeveloped world in the thirtieth century, and so people were just carted off. Terrible really, because it spread all the more. Families didn't want to be split, so infected each other on purpose."

She crinkled her forehead, and Jack crossed his arms.

"Nicole's still around in my time, although it's hardly populated. More open for research reasons, but AID's just keeps cropping up on earth. They think it might be some kind of genetic time bomb, because it ebbs and flows. They're still trying to find a cure. That's why I'm giving blood."

Rose's nodded slowly.

"Could I help? Would they want my blood as well?"

He brushed some blossom of her hair, smiling down. She flciked his hand off in mock irritation.

"Nope. I'm immune, Time Agent thing."

She sat straight up in her chair.

"The Time Agents had the answer and they didn't share it?"

"I didn't know, I swear. It was only within the last three years that I found out…bit of a sticky situation, got out of it, got tested, and found I was immune. It happened during the gap, immunisation." He added bitterly. Rose chewed her lip and sighed.

"We'll get them back. Your memories."

He nodded and frowned and reached for the peanut butter. Rose drank the last of her chocolate.

"So they made you immune, and what, they can manufacture a cure or an inoculation if they have your blood? You do know that's disgusting, right?"

Rose wrinkled her nose; he was digging around in the peanut butter with a teaspoon, eating it straight out of the jar.

"You eat marmite! And I don't know. Hopefully. It'll help."

Rose stood up, but Jack caught her hand.

"Be careful, though? Usual earth rules apply, no sharing needles, no sex, no blood transfusions…"

"Jack!"

She carefully wiped peanut butter off his nose with a napkin, and he laughed.

"If you're gonna have sex, do it with the Doctor. He's going to explode."

She turned red and hugged him suddenly, and he held her until she stepped back, vaguely embarrassed.

"It's just a matter of time Rose. You'll sort it out."

"Yeah. Okay. Thanks."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Doctor wiped Jack's arm with some antiseptic, and brought out a thin needle. Jack sat back unconcernedly.

"You sure you don't want me to numb it?"

Jack rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue.

"That takes ages. Just do it. Although I wouldn't mind a hand to hold," the Doctor smiled briefly. Jack cringed as he saw Rose's expression._ Oops. Old habits die hard._

"You wish, flyboy."

Rose watched, morbidly curious as Jack's blood flowed through a small tube and into a plastic container. It looked a bit like a juice packet, but transparent. His blood was darker than she'd expected as well and she reached for his hand. Jack squeezed it quickly, but pushed it away the Doctor turned round.

"Does it hurt?" She asked, looking at the tiny bit of metal that had been pushed deep into his skin. It had a ridge.

"Nope. Well, a little. Way less that someone falling on me and breaking my leg though, " he said, turning to the Doctor.

"I fixed it within ten minutes! Hardly fractured, you wuss."

"Hurt like hell though."

They waited in silence as the bag expanded, and Jack lay back and looked at the metallic ceiling, Rose and the Doctor firmly avoided each others eyes. Rose watched the container fill with fluid, and the Doctor the arm and the needle.

He suddenly jerked the point out without warning, and Jack yelped. The Doctor chuckled.

"Doesn't hurt, huh?"

He rubbed Jack's arm with his thumb, and then a wipe, and Rose felt a momentary irrational flash of jealousy, at the care he took. It faded as Jack hopped off the bed.

"You're _supposed_ to stay still for a while."

"No such luck I'm afraid. I'm off to find some sugar…ready to leave in fifteen minutes?"

"Sure."

Rose followed out of the door, but stopped as the Doctor called her name. Jack made a hasty bid for freedom, leaving them alone.

"Rose?"

It was ridiculous; she could hear her heart beating in her ears. It's just the Doctor.

"Yeah?"

He stayed seated, systematically putting away needles and trays.

"Are you going with him? To drop it off?"

"Think so."

He nodded slowly, as if hesitant at his next sentence. She wished he'd look at her in the eyes; she felt further away than ever.

"Careful then."

And he walked passed her, leaving her with a sinking mixture of emotions ranging from disbelief to despair, and including comfort. She sank down next to the wall and wondered if he's ever grab for her hand again..


	3. Chapter 3

"You've gotta be kidding me." Jack rifled through the pile of forms. It was two inches thick.

"You want to know my sexual orientation? And all my past encounters and their _names and addresses_? "

The woman behind the desk gave him a less then impressed look. She was pale, thin, and brown haired and Rose wondered whether she had it. How long she had to live.  
She shivered, and then felt disgusted with herself._ When did I get so morbid?_

It was the place, she decided. Like someone had tried to take all the worst aspects of a hospital and the best ones of an asylum, mixed them together, and painted the metal walls beige. It was oppressive and invasive.

"We understand that it may be difficult for you to identify all of them, Mr Harkness, but as many as you can remember would be infinitely useful. "

"Jeez."

He plonked himself down in a chair, and took out a pen. Rose curled herself next to him on the floor.

"Thought it was a towel we always had to have?"

Rose took her biro out of her pocket and gave it a menacing click. "Pens are much more useful. You never know when you're gonna need one."  
Jack grinned; you lived life to the full, you always carried a pen, some string, and a small shrinkable medical kit. He'd given Rose the lecture when he's found she didn't own flesh glue.

"So it's gonna be a while then?"

"Looks like, sorry."

"S'ok"

Rose sighed, and shut her eyes. His face popped up unbidden, blue eyes shining, and she opened hers hurriedly. Instead, she stared at Jack's shoes and fell into her recent game of recreating The Conversation in a way that would mean she was right now holding hands with him. Or kissing him. Or just talking to him, having him show off, not walking out of any room she was in with a face like a dying star…

It was cold and the nib of Jack's pen scratched, a comforting, or maybe distracting background to her thoughts. She gathered her jumper closer to and shut her eyes again.

_  
Run._

She's my plus one.

I never go anywhere without her.

I could save the world but lose you.  
  
This was_ stupid_. She hated the fact that she couldn't do a thing. It was all up to him, and what's worse, she'd put him in that position. She remembered something her mum had said just the once, her dad's birthday, 1997._ Some blokes, love, you make them give up their soul so you can have their heart. It doesn't work. If you like them enough, take them as they are._  
She'd tried to change him. He wasn't like that….in actual fact she loved that he wasn't 'like that'. They didn't talk about it, they just were. Together.

_What use are emotions if you cannot save the woman you-_

"Rose?"

She opened her eyes as Jack nudged her with his foot.

"You alright down there? It's cold."

"Don't I know it…" She stretched out, pins and needles spreading through her left foot, and she blew on her hands to warm them.

"I'm going for a walk, ok? Just wander about a bit, try to find a heat source of some kind."

"I'm free for snuggling."

She laughed and zipped her hoody up to the top, hiding her nose underneath and breathing to try and get warm.

"Never heard you use the word snuggle. Nah, it's ok, I was getting bored. I'll stay close." 

"Right…bye…" he was immersed in a questionnaire.

Rose walked out of the damp waiting area, and into a corridor that was even wetter and darker. She wondered why on earth they made it so unpleasant here, and then realised she was being naive. Obvious. It was as a deterrent.  
She looked around for a sign so she could make her way back.

TBH667YT

You could easily get lost. She took her infamous pen out of her pocket, and wrote the number on her hand, and then opened a door to her left.

Thirty seconds later, she didn't notice as the Doctor stepped carefully through behind her.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

'Quarantine Cleared – Disembarking Area '

The notice was stuck to a glass window in a door, A4 paper and blue handwriting, which was odd because all the other signs were painted wood.

Pushing open the door she saw what looked like a dormitory. Three sets of bunk beds, a urinal at one end and a pile off books in the middle of the floor. Someone had been smoking, and the walls had been freshly repainted, still beige over metal, but it hadn't faded. It was uncomfortable, this room, and something prickled over the back of her neck. One of the books had been partially burnt for heat. _There's got to be something we can do about this dump. There are kids living like this._

She was turning to leave, but someone touched her shoulder. She jumped and let out a yell.

"Christ!"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

An insipid, silky voice accompanied the hand. She tuned to see a thin man in grey overalls and plimsolls, and automatically took a step back. He smiled, and stepped forward, closing the gap between them.  
He was blonde, very fair, and he had a slight accent. Bristolian?

She recoiled when he reached out and stroked her cheek. His fingers were icily cold and wet. Making Rose think reptilian. His eyes were green, washed out in the dim light. A second word joined the first. Fish. He was oily.

"D'you mind?"

He just smiled and Rose backed towards the door. _Not good, not good.._

"Uh - I have to leave." His lashed shot out and grabbed her shoulder, and she ducked and brought her knee up to his groin-

"Bad." He grabbed her knee, twisting it, and she fell to the floor.

"What the hell are you doing?" He advanced slowly as she tried to scramble up. The door slammed closed of its own accord and she screamed, loudly as she'd been taught, yelling with all her might.

"Jack! Get the fuck off me! JACK!"

"No-one around here…I made sure.." He was unbuttoning her jeans, and Rose tried desperately to kick him off, but he held her to the floor with his knees, he was strong, stronger than he should have been. _He's not human._

She beat down with her hands as his fingers travelled over her underwear. Rape. The word rose in her mind like bile, and the world spun. _He's going to…_

"Fuck! Do you have it? DO YOU HAVE AID's?"

He smiled again, and she screamed, wordlessly as his thick lips descended to meet hers. His tongue tasted foul, and then she saw him. Staring through the glass window, the Doctor. There was a fraction of a second as his mouth dropped and their eyes met, and then he yelled, kicking at the door, and bursting in.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The Doctor had been waiting three corridors down, cursing himself for not keeping up. He hated this, sneaking around after her, like chasing an overactive child. She didn't deserve this, he knew. She deserved someone who would give her a life, make her proud of herself, someone who was easy. He snorted. No pun intended.

It was a horrible place, Nicole. It closed down in three years from now or he'd be manning the guns himself. Jack was the missing link, the renegade time agent with the answer, but it was important to let him find that out for himself. Not to screw up history too much.  
He wondered why he hadn't thought of it before, and then gave an ironic smile.

He was finding it even harder to concentrate and to keep his cool, especially as Jack and Rose seemed to be getting closer. It was ridiculous. Forget possessive, this was obsession; she dominated his thoughts, and the more he shut himself away, the worse it became.   
But she was so tangible, so alive, she spread herself through everything she did and the Tardis was saturated with her. Being around her was electric.

The worst of it was that he had no-one to run to. Gallifrey loomed in every dream. And he didn't cry anymore.

He never had, around Rose. He'd never cried for his family or his people before he met her, and then first stop out of the Tardis door, the end of the earth, and she'd dragged up emotions he hadn't known existed. And he'd cried, and afterwards…he'd been calm. He'd slept, he'd eaten, he'd talked and laughed and hadn't fallen asleep underneath a grill being poked by a screwdriver. In fact the exact opposite to what he'd done every night for the preceding two weeks.

He grinned suddenly, despite himself, remembering the way she gasped and wrinkled her nose and giggled and moaned._ She's one hell of a girl._.

A voice in the back of his head whispered _she's yours_. His smile dropped and he stared at the beige panelling.   
_She doesn't want me. You've lost it. You've lost her._

He longed to hear her laughing again, and feel her hot little hand in his.

And then a scream ran across the corridor, and his blood rushed to head, and he could hear the pumping in his ears.

"Jack! Get the fuck off me! JACK!"

"Rose!" He could see the door, and he flung himself down the corridor, hearts stopping as he heard her scream again.

"Rose! ROSE!"

"Do you have it? DO YOU HAVE AID's?"

He almost blacked out. _No, no, no, no, please…_

The window on the door was transparent, as he rattled it, willing it to open, he saw her on the floor and held down by white hands-

He kicked the door and it flew open, rage building inside him as the demi-human looked up, confused and disoriented. In his nine hundred years of existence, he had never wanted to hurt something so badly, and he kicked him savagely in the face, "Get up. Get the fuck up." The man whimpered something and crawled to the corner.

"She's twenty, and she's Rose, AND YOU COULD HAVE TAKEN HER LIFE AWAY!" he thundered, kicking him again in the stomach.

"Get. Up."

The man spat blood onto the floor, and looked up, face partially hidden by a protective arm. He was giggling.

"…makes them _squirm_.."

The Gallifreyan pulled the monster's head roughly upwards, and was about to hit it, but a voice called out-

"Doctor, no!"

He let the demi-human fall to the floor, forgotten. Rose was pushed into a corner, her eyes wide, and her trousers tangled around her legs. It struck him. She's alive, she's ok, she's..

He strode over and grabbed her around the waist, tight, and ignoring her partial nakedness, clicked his screwdriver. They materialised in his room. He was shaking. So was she.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Thank-you- he- he.." She trailed off as he pulled her close, rocking her and kissing the top of her head, her face, her eyes, her nose, breathing her in and squeezing his eyes shut, feeling her sob and shudder and _present._ Here._ Thank God._

He made a noise half-way between a whimper and a moan, and pulled her jeans all the way off, stroking and gripping the bared flesh, as if he didn't touch all of her, now, she'd slip away.

Rose clutched at him, eyes closed as she felt the rain of hot kisses over her face. She was drowning in him, his smell, his breath, and she reached to take off her top, almost crying out as she realised it had been torn. The Doctor lifted her onto his bed, never stopping his stroking for an instant, and buried his face in her hair, pulling at her shirt and ripping it off completely.

"Gods, _Rose-_"

"No, I need it, I need you-"

She sobbed as she saw the pile off soiled clothes tossed at the edge of the room. Insignificant. As they should be.  
He was running his hands through her hair now, soft handfuls of it, and kissing her neck. She made him stop for an instant, pulling at his jumper and his jacket and dumping them onto the bed. She found his mouth and dropped back onto a mattress sunk to fit his shape, duelling with his tongue, and clutching his back forcefully. She reached behind her and unlinked her bra, and pulled off her remaining underwear, making short work of his belt and trousers, releasing his straining hard-on.

The beginnings of tears were falling around his eyes. As his weight anchored her to bed and his face hovering above her, she licked them away, tasting the salty roughness of his skin and his stubble. He turned his head to one side, eyes shut tightly in fierce concentration, and she cupped his face with her hand, both of them already moving in time together. _He's so fragile._

Two weeks apart and before exploded in a haze of colour as he ran his hands up her spine and around to her breasts, touching her like she was going to disappear, forcing away all memory of the wrong fingers. She shuddered.  
He caught her hands in his, and kissed her passionately. She could still taste the blond haired man in her mouth, and the Doctor must have too because he swept his tongue around hers mercilessly. His kiss retained the skill but the speed and power were almost too much. Within seconds all she could taste was him. It was almost enough.

"Doctor – you-"

She felt feverishly below the sheet, and guided their hips together. He couldn't help but push into her, with a long wavering, weighted moan. She cried out into his mouth, and gripped his back hard enough to pierce skin, and they started to move, fast and hard.

It wasn't serene. It wasn't tranquil. It was_ proof._  
They moved together, him thrusting inside her, both sets of hips bucking feverishly as the temperature rose. They sobbed together as he pulled out and breathed as one as he surged in, ecstasy over taking. It proved it. They were here and together and now, and the Doctor sank down to bite her ear, "_Mine_."  
She panted and nodded, unable to speak as he slid out again.

Rose felt they were joined in a single being. Every trace of her fear and uncertainty and shame were lost as the Doctor pushed her to the brink. She was overwhelmed by his presence. The bed was half made, sheets thrown to one side, and she loved that because it had been his, and now what they were sharing made it theirs. No-one could stop that, no-one could force them apart. Breath and sweat mingled, Rose felt the pull of nine-hundred years and the Doctor whimpered because she was alive and new and Rose and he sucked at her neck and groaned as she squeezed tightly around him and…

He pushed into her one last time as she arched her back, and he came with a keening cry, emptying himself inside her. Rose moaned out a broken 'Doctor!', as she tipped into orgasm and waves of pure white light throbbed through her body, pushing her into the pillows. The Doctor hid his face in her shoulder, panting.

They lay entwined until their sweat cooled.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Rose dozed, head on his chest and semi-conscious of hands stroking and playing with her hair. She awoke fully as his chest began to shake and something warm ran down her face, and she fumbled, trying desperately to push her hair away.

He was crying. Eyes screwed shut and body heaving crying, great racking sobs that shook him. Upon realising she was fully aware he pushed his head into the pillow.

"None of that…come on.."

Rose tipped his head towards her, and slid her arms around him, entwining their legs and pressing herself as close as possible.

"I thought I'd lost you," he said, rocking her. Her hands moved up to his head and started stroking his hair and his face, brushing away the tears that were still freely falling.

"I'm here. Always here. Can't get rid of me."

"No," he said, squeezing her body tightly. "I thought it was over, I thought…us."

She smiled and met his lips with her own, and they kissed for a long moment. When they broke away she sighed, long and happy, and the Doctor gulped._ God she's…she's…Rose._

He grinned.

"Never. Never over."

They watched light flow over the Doctor's ceiling. Luminescent and blue like water; Rose had missed it, the gentle rushing sounds. And the muffled thumping from the Doctor's hearts, which were a lot quieter than hers.

The Doctor laughed suddenly, and she smiled, sleepily.

"What?"

"Nothing…just..I can't believe we had sex and then I _cried_. Bet you don't get that in human males."

"You'd be surprised.." Rose replied, deadpan.

He sat up as if remembering something and she groaned and pulled him down again.

"Nooo…no talking until tomorrow. How can you not be exhausted?"

He grimaced, and rolled off her, pulling the sheet up." I didn't hurt you did I? Did he? Rose?"

She opened one eyes and curled into a ball.

"Turn the light off you daft sod. "

"I'm serious."

She opened her eyes resignedly, and pulled him back into bed, switching the light off, pulling the duvet over them and curling like a dormouse in his arms.

"So am I. If you want to see me naked, you'll have to wait until tomorrow."

He chuckled and buried his nose in her hair, breathing her in.

"Think I can wait until then?"

But she was already asleep. And so was he.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A week later:

"So basically a giant moth with a bad case of megalomania is going to burst it's way out of that nest in the next thirty seconds, and we have to set off a huge wave of electricity to fry it to a crisp? "

The Doctor beamed at her. She'd been paying attention.

" 'Bout sums it up, yeah.". Jack raised his eyebrows and shot off at a sprint. The Doctor grabbed her hand.

"Run!"


End file.
